Top Ten Reasons for being French:
-=-=-=-=-=
1. By speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay.
2. You have yet to experience the joy of winning the World Cup.
3. You get to eat snails and frogs' legs.
4. If there's a war you can surrender really early.
5. You don't need to read the subtitles on those late night films on Channel Four.
6. You can test your nuclear weapons in other peoples' countries.
7. You can be ugly and still be a famous film star.
8. You can allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street.
9. You don't need proper toilets: just shit in the street.
10.People think you're a great lover, even when you're not.

Top Ten Reasons for being American:
-=-=-=-=-=
1. You can have a female President, even though you didn't elect her.
2. You can spell colour wrong and get away with it.
3. You can call Budweiser beer.
4. You can be a crook and still be President.
5. If you've got enough money you can get elected to do anything.
6. If you can breathe you can get a gun.
7. You get to be really obese.
8. You can play golf in the most hideous clothes imaginable and no-one minds.
9. You get to call everyone you've never met "buddy".
10.You can believe you're the greatest nation on Earth.

Top Ten Reasons for being English:
-=-=-=-=-=
1. Two World Wars and one World Cup, doo dah, doo dah.
2. You get to drink warm flat beer.
3. You can confuse everyone with the rules of cricket.
4. You get plenty of practice in graciously accepting defeat in major sporting events.
5. Union Jack underpants.
6. You can guarantee a water shortage every summer.
7. You can live in the past and imagine you're still a world power.
8. You can bath once a week, need it or not.
9. Ditto changing underwear.
10. It beats being Welsh. 10a Or Scottish.

Top Ten reasons for being Italian:
-=-=-=-=-=
1. You have an in-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes.
2. You're unembarrassed to wear fur.
3. You don't need to worry about paying tax.
4. Your glorious military history. (Prior to 400 A.D.)
5. You can wear sunglasses indoors.
6. Your nation's political stability.
7. Flexible working hours.
8. You get to live near the Pope.
9. You can spend hours braiding your girlfriend's armpit hair.
10. It's a country run by Sicilian murderers.

Top Ten Reasons for being Spanish:
-=-=-=-=-=
1. You have a glorious history of killing South American tribes.
2. The rest of Europe thinks Africa starts at the Pyrenees.
3. You get your beaches invaded by Brits, Danes, Germans, etc.
4. The rest of your country is already invaded by Moroccans.
5. Everyone else makes crap paella.
6. Your inveterate honesty.
7. The only sure way of bedding a woman is to dress up in stupid, tight clothes and prance about in front of a bull.
8. You get to eat bulls' testicles.
9. You supported Argentina during the Falklands War.
10. Gibraltar.

Top Ten Reasons for being German:
-=-=-=-=-=
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

Top Ten Reasons for being Indian:
-=-=-=-=-=
1. Chicken Madras.
2. Lamb Passanda.
3. Onion Bhajee.
4. Bombay Duck.
5. Chicken Tikka Massala.
6. Rogan Josh.
7. Poppadoms.
8. Chicken Dupiaza.
9. Meat Bhoona.
10.Kingfisher lager.

Top Ten Reasons for being Welsh:
-=-=-=-=-=
1. You've got to laugh, don't ya?

Top Ten Reasons for being Irish:
-=-=-=-=-=
1. Guinness.
2. You can have 18 children because you can't use contraceptives.
3. You can get into a fight just by marching down someone's road.
4. You can use Papal Edicts on contraception passed in the Second Vatican Council of 1968 to persuade your girlfriend that you can't wear a condom.
5. The pubs never close.
6. No-one can ever remember the night before.
7. You can kill people who disagree with your political opinion.
8. Stew.
9. More Guinness.
10.You can eat Irish stew and drink Guinness in a pub at 3am after a bout of sectarian violence.

Top Ten Reasons for being Canadian:
-=-=-=-=-=
1. It beats hell out of being American.
2. Canada is the only country ever to invade the USA and burn its capital to the ground.
3. You can play ice hockey outdoors all year round.
4. Canada is the only country ever to invade the USA and burn its capital to the ground.
5. Where else can you travel 1000 miles on fresh water in a canoe?
6. A political leader can admit to smoking pot and his/her popularity increases.
7. Canada is the only country ever to invade the USA and burn its capital to the ground.
8. You can kill grizzly bears with a huge fuckoff shotgun and decorate your house with their skins.
9. The Own-An-Eskimo scheme.
10.Canada is the only country ever to invade the USA and burn its capital to the ground.

Top Ten Reasons for being Australian:
-=-=-=-=-=
1. You know that your great-great granddad was a murdering bastard who no civilised nation wanted.
2. Fosters lager.
3. You can dispossess Aborigines who lived in their country for 40,000 years because you think it belongs to you.
4. You can annihilate England at cricket.
5. Your tact and sensitivity.
6. Bondi Beach.
7. Other beaches.
8. Your liberated attitude to homosexuality.
9. You can drink cold lager on the beach.
10.You can have a bit of a swim and then drink some cold lager on the beach.

 

Copyright by Joat Electronics 1996